Strategies and Tactics for Women by Dr. Shannon Reece

Question: How can husband-wife entrepreneur teams keep the business separate from their family life?

- Arroxane Eber, http://www.Kineteka.com, Lewisville, Texas

Shannon’s Answer: Arroxane, thank you for your question. According to a Wall Street Journal article, about one third of all family operated businesses are jointly run by husband and wife. In a tough economy, more spouses are finding ways to merge their “assets” at work and at home, and are quaintly becoming known as “copreneurs.”

This arrangement is not ideal for everyone. So if it’s something you are considering, you’ve got to weigh the pros and cons, and understand how to ensure success at the office and at home. Keys to success include solid communication skills, tremendous mutual respect, and the ability to split the load and trust your counterpart to get the job done. Benefits abound in this type of work/life arrangement, but as you will see below, it takes effort and determination to make it work.

Copreneurial Perks

There is a lot to be said for those who take a partner on the adventure of entrepreneurship, and with that decision comes many perks -

1. You don’t have to explain yourself — Working long hours and sacrificing luxuries is much easier when you are doing it together. You experience the same ups and downs together, so there’s no need to justify.
2. Two heads can be better than one — One of the biggest challenges of solopreneurship is that you are going it alone. Having a partner in crime provides the  benefit of a sounding board, someone with a different perspective on an issue. The challenge lies in deciding which way you will go when there is a complete difference of opinion.
3. Split the load without doubling the cost — With a partner, you can each take half of the operation, rather than immediately needing to hire extra help, keeping startup costs under control. This is not to say that you shouldn’t still outsource the activities where neither of you have proficiency if there is a better place you could be spending your time.
4. Take your best friend to work — For those who are married to their best friend, love to spend lots of time together, and have similar interests and passions, working together can be a perfect scenario. You get to share it all.
5. Shared passion can deepen your relationship — As I just mentioned, when you share a passion, spending time on it together can really strengthen and deepen your relationship with each other. You may have differing outside interests, but for the majority of your day, you are like one mind.

Separating Your Business from Your Life

Not every copreneur relationship is as blissful as the next. And even under the most ideal situations, there will be bumps in the road. The answer to keeping the peace at the office and at home is to follow some simple guidelines designed to facilitate work-life balance. Because as the saying goes, all work and no play (or peace at home)…well, you know the rest.

• Schedule Regular “ME” Time – I often talk about the importance of taking “ME” time, because when your fuel tank is on empty, you are no good to anyone. Those who continuously burn the candle at both ends find themselves perpetually on the verge of unraveling physically, emotionally and mentally. So do you and your spouse a favor, and set aside specific time apart to refresh and renew. Whether spending time with the girls, or heading to the spa for a massage — making the time will allow you to be at your best under pressure, and enable you to invest in healthy relationship building at work and at home.

• Set Healthy Boundaries – Some copreneurs establish a rule that outside the office walls discussions about work are taboo. Others choose to develop a more symbiotic relationship, blurring the lines between home and work. There is no right or wrong approach. You have to mutually agree upon the right rules for your relationship. If you are the type who has difficulty “letting go,” forcing yourself to leave work at the office will be the best approach. Besides, when you consider that the largest portion of your day is spent at work, you might see the importance of taking a break from it when you are at home. Doing so, you will probably notice that when you return to work, your perspective on challenges that you left behind is fresher and more productive.

• Keep the Romance Alive – Entrepreneurs are a busy group, and tend to sacrifice a lot for the sake of building a thriving business. But your work should never take the place of, or overshadow the importance of a personal relationship with your spouse. Just like anything worth having, a marriage requires continuous attention and nurturing. You and your spouse will need to commit to maintaining date nights with each other to reconnect on a non-work related level, doing the things you love to do as a couple. When you are happy at home, it is much easier to operate as a team when you are at work.

• Clarify Work/Home Responsibilities & Expectations – When you decide to start a business or a life together, one of the first things you have to nail down is who is going to be responsible for what (without over booking yourselves).  Nothing can be more destructive to any type of relationship than unspoken expectations. Because when you or your spouse are counting on the other to get something done, and it doesn’t, resentment and frustration can build. So put all your cards on the boardroom, and kitchen table, and decide how you can equitably divide the tasks that must get done. For those neither of you wish to tackle, determine who you can hire to do the work. When roles and responsibilities are clear, it is much easier to focus on your own tasks, knowing that someone else has your back.

• Create a Conflict Resolution Strategy – Do you know what sets you off like a cannon fuse? If not, then you should spend some time figuring out where your hot spots, and flare points lie. To maintain a consistent level of peaceful productivity it’s vital that you and your spouse develop an effective way to resolve conflict in the business and at home. Employees and children don’t like it when you fight, as it makes for a very uncertain and hostile environment. When each of you know which buttons not to push, how to effectively have a calm discussion when you disagree, and can rely on “time out” cues when you need to step away, you will be more apt to keep the peace under pressure.

• Plan Escapes – Finally, but certainly not any less important, you and your spouse should actively and regularly plan “work-free” escapes. For most entrepreneurs, the element of freedom is one of the most significant reasons for starting a business. And from day one, you should be setting up systems and structure so that you don’t have to be tied to the office 24/7/365. It will take some planning and hard work, but the result is the ability to step away, even if only for a day or two, and relish in complete separation from your business.

Having only been on the solo side of entrepreneurship, I think that having the most important person in your life intimately involved and equally passionate about your mission would be a wonderful experience. But not everyone can work harmoniously together. For those who are trying, just remember that as copreneurs, your working relationship will only ever be as solid as your personal relationship, so don’t neglect nurturing and supporting the best parts of each other at home. Businesses come and go, but it’s vital to know where your riches truly lie, and that is in the loving embrace of your spouse.

For more information on couples who are making copreneurship work, check out this article - Power of Two: Secrets to Marital and Entrepreneurial Bliss

To your business success!